I recently realised that many of you may have questions or ‘life problems’ that I in my infinite wisdom would be able to solve for you. Hence for this reason I have created the very FAQ you now read before you. Below I am sure are many answers to questions you are all undoubtedly curious to know. If there is anything that I have not not covered in the FAQ please feel free to ask. After all I only wish to make your life better. However I do pass this warning do not ask a question twice as it could threaten the very existence of the universe. Also I don’t care to repeat myself so pay attention.

1. What is your secret identity?

   This is the most the most frequently asked question I get asked. I am however afraid it is one I can not answer, for reasons far too numerous and complex for anyone to understand. I fear that if the world where to know my true identity, then I would not be able to do the great work that I have set out too.

2. Why is it you can not reveal your secret identity?

   See above. I have already said I do not care to repeat myself.

3. Are you immortal?

   Yes I am in fact immortal. However this is not a theory I have ever put to the test, on the slim chance that I might be wrong.

4. Is there anything you can not do/know?

   Yes there are three things. I can’t Wiggle my ears, never been able to do it, I don’t know why. I have also spent many years without success trying to think of a third thing I can’t do.

5. Are you God?

   Alas this is not for me to decide, for I am but merely a man, If I am to be a God it is because you my followers have decided it so.

6. Why are the bee’s disappearing?

   I felt that black and yellow wasn’t a very good colour combination. I tried to reason with them, but damn it they just wouldn’t listen. I do not regret my decision.

7. What do you in your spare time?

   Time is finite, none is spare. I also have a passion for carpentry and murder mystery novels.

8. Are the rumours true?

   There is only one and yes it is.

9. What right do I have as a person to ask you a question?

   Well my friend you already have and you have every right. It is only natural for you be curious. So much of this world must be a strange and scary place for you. I am here to show you the way, the light. So please ask, ask and ask some more.

10. What is the meaning of life?

    I am.

Too be updated as necessary.